Evaluate the deeper nature of the person
Do not focus on superficial aspects
Do not concentrate on desire and lust
Relationship based on sex are shallow with no foundation
Romance is not real, it is an illusory idealization of the loved one. When this idealization shatters it leads to frustration. Real relationships are based on empathy, compassion, sharing, free will, lack of attachment, honesty, truthfulness, sharing, respect, and love based on reality
One of the major obstacles is suffering which is part of normal human experience. How the relationship deals with hardship will be determined by the degree of above bonds. Hence, assessment of above qualities are essential in the success of the relationship.
Deleterious attitudes are anger, hatred, selfishness, secrecy, lying, jealousy, addictions, unsolved issues, family history, lack of intimacy, abusive patterns, and control issues.
The negative traits need to be identified and tackle early on to avoid escalation of resentment.