The conflict between negative emotions and violence reach a climax in my senior year in high school. I went to take my girlfriend home but when we arrived there 10 kids from her high school were in front of her house. Her parents were not home so I decided to wait for her parents to get home. They started to scream insults at me so I stepped out of the house and walked towards them. We started fighting, they pushed me down to the floor and my face hit the asphalt. I had a huge scar in my face which led to severe anger and hatred. These led for a desire to kill. This idea scare the hell out of me. I felt like an animal. My resolution was to investigate non-violence. Furthermore, I decided to enroll a Quaker college to further master non-violence. However, none of these dealt with the emotions completely. I found the Buddhist approach to emotions practical to deal with negative emotions I have difficulty with. Changing the way you think it is not easy. Concepts and ideas have a way to develop a life of its own. If you are convinced that these emotions are damaging to you, then you are ready to start the transformation. The idea is not to understand that they are wrong or withholding from putting them into actions. The idea is not to feel them at all. Nothing is impossible, it is impossible if you do not try. It is impossible if you do not believe it to be important. It is impossible, if you do not want to change. It is impossible, if you do not believe in yourself. It is impossible, if you believe you do not deserve it. It is impossible, if you are not aware that is possible. It is impossible, if you are afraid.
Antidotes To Negative Emotions VI